Unbelievable Crap That Exists In the Name of Technology

Unbelievable Crap That Exists In The Name of Technology

Who doesn’t love gadgets, especially when we’re surrounded in a digital world full of new technologies and digital applications. But sometimes our love for buying or creating new technologies gets too far, leading to useless ploys that serve hardly any purpose. You might’ve heard about several useless technologies, such as ‘Leave Me Alone Box’ that simply flips a switch off whenever you switch it on. Yeah, this intricate piece of technology serves no other purpose whatsoever.

Strangely this isn’t the only useless technology that is available in the market. One can find a plethora of useless yet seemingly advanced gadgets and hi-tech equipment that are as useless as a ‘Pet Rock’ (this exists). Check out the below list for some crazy examples.

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1. No-PhoneNo Phone

Before we blow the lid off consumerism’s ugly face, let’s start with a more humble entry. The best part about this gadget (not really!) is that it doesn’t require any batteries. While it sounds redeeming, that’s the only thing good about this so called piece ingenuity. As its name suggests, No-Phone isn’t actually a phone, but a simple piece of plastic that is shaped like a smartphone. Why? Simply because it’s a supposed remedy for those dealing with smartphone addiction. It’s for $5 but you’re better-off spending that on milkshakes.

2. Smart ToasterSmart Toaster

A device made for the unimaginably lazy, this smart toaster is controlled through a smartphone app via bluetooth. Sounds savvy right? We cannot believe how you survived without this all these years. And the best part, it comes at an introductory price of $99.99, which is a perfect deal for ‘Avocado Toast’ aficionados. We can also safely assume that the next product by this company would be a bluetooth controlled rain-sensing umbrella.

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3. Hawaii ChairHawaii Chair

What happens when you mix an amusement park ride with a workout device? The answer is lots and lots of upset tummies. Well the Hawaii chair/Hula chair totally attempts that with no different results. The product is basically a chair with the seat spinning in a hula-hoop motion that is supposed to turn the drab task of sitting into a ‘fun’ exercise. What makes it even more hilarious is that it’s advertised as something that can also be used at a workplace! Imagine having your morning coffee at work sitting on this. They never explain that part in the advertising but at least they have a catchy jingle and we’re suckers for that stuff.

4. Love BoxLovebox

Back in the days everybody loved pagers. Not really but in-case you did, then this product is perfect for you. Oh and it comes for $99 and can only display a single text that says… ‘I love You’(how sweet). It can be a perfect gift for that gold digger girl you’re trying to keep away from your money vault, without looking too cheap. Simply put, it is a simple wooden box that displays the above mentioned text via a smartphone app. Texting never felt so expensive and primitive.

5. Hair CoachHair Coach

Just when you thought your mother couldn’t be replaced, comes a revolutionary $200 hairbrush that tells you how to brush your hair better and become like Picasso, but for hair. Just like how a fitness coach will help you gain fitness, Lo’real Hair Coach will help you groom your hair. This seemingly normal looking hair brush has in-built sensors that provides statistical data about your hair when brushing. Because who doesn’t like to be constantly reminded of how bad their hair look, even when there’s no one around.

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6. The Cigarette Smoker/Russian Air FreshenerSmoking Machine

Even if you don’t smoke, there often comes a time when you miss your chain smoking room partner from college and the guilty pleasures of passive smoking. And it’s for such occasions that inventors have created this mind-numbing self-powered machine that will help you relive your dark days. All you need to do is empty a pack of cigarettes in this baby and watch it puff-away every last one of them, leaving you with a familiar aroma and cigarette butts. This is also proof that smoking doesn’t cause cancer, being alive does.

Regardless of how important or advanced these above entries claim to be, they’re nothing more than pointless ruse to please consumerists and elites. Although the same can also be said about politicians, so let’s just gulp this list with a grain of salt and happy reading!

Akshay Peter

Akshay Luke Peters is a writer and blogger for Systweak Software. He likes to write about off-beat topics and technological awareness. He is also part musician who likes to explore the future of technology in entertainment and popular media.

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